Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country’s True Heritage

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Roofus
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Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country’s True Heritage

Postby Roofus » Fri Aug 18, 2017 6:03 am

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WASHINGTON—Affirming their unwavering support for the fast food mascot, Americans rallied around a Ronald McDonald statue Thursday that they said embodied the country’s true heritage. “We refuse to let what this clown represents to our people and our way of life just be snuffed out,” said Jackson, MS resident Martin Kerpatch, one of the many demonstrators at a McDonald’s PlayPlace who had locked arms in a circle around the fiberglass sculpture of the iconic character relaxing on a bench. “You may not support everything this statue represents—we acknowledge that menu items such as the Arch Deluxe and McDLT complicate Ronald McDonald’s legacy—but to erase it from history would mean erasing the Big Mac and Chicken McNuggets as well. And we will never allow that to happen.” At press time, the protestors had begun swaying and chanting, “Ba da ba ba bah! I’m lovin’ it! Ba da ba ba bah! I’m lovin’ it!”

The Onion

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melancholy
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Re: Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country’s True Heritage

Postby melancholy » Fri Aug 18, 2017 11:06 am

This is made even funnier to me because a new McDonalds just opened today in town so they had a 20ft tall inflatable Ronald and crowds of people lined up all day.

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Calavera
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Re: Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country’s True Heritage

Postby Calavera » Fri Aug 18, 2017 11:37 am

I live in a small "hick" town. They put in a McDonalds sometime around the mid to late 90s. It was the only other fast food restaurant in town besides Dairy Queen (which is one of those small Dairy queens that only has 4 outdoor benches for seating) Anywho I remember going by there on opening day and the whole damn town must have been there. They had clowns and everything. Was a big day for this little old Indiana town!
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Bandit
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Re: Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country’s True Heritage

Postby Bandit » Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:06 pm

Did Onion insult the Arch Deluxe? They can fuck right off, that was better than the Big Mac.

I love the Onion, but I can't stand for that slander of a great burger pulled from the menu before its time.

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Calavera
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Re: Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country’s True Heritage

Postby Calavera » Fri Aug 18, 2017 1:51 pm

Bandit wrote:Did Onion insult the Arch Deluxe? They can fuck right off, that was better than the Big Mac.

I love the Onion, but I can't stand for that slander of a great burger pulled from the menu before its time.
Ah the Arch Deluxe, I think I was in either 3rd or 5th grade when that thing released. The marketing worked on dumb kids, my friends would say things like, psssh I don't get no happy meals, I got an Arch Deluxe.
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