Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

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Roofus
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Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Roofus » Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:41 am

Remember back when there was a Jared other than the Kushner one, and he advertised Subway sandwiches until he was convicted of having a bunch of child porn? He’s decided that there’s no prison that can hold him, because you see, the federal court that convicted him has no power over him: He’s a Sovereign Citizen and must be released immediately.

Fogle filed a motion on his own earlier this month in U.S. District Court in the Southern District of Indiana, saying he wanted to correct an “error” regarding subject matter jurisdiction in the case.

His defense?

That he is a sovereign citizen — a group the FBI calls “a domestic terrorist movement,” believing “federal, state, and local governments operate illegally.” In his motion, Fogle pointed to a “friend of the court” brief that was previously filed by a fellow inmate in the same federal prison, stating, “whether a judicial judgment is lawful depends on whether the sovereign has authority to render it.”


Oops, it didn’t work. Last Wednesday, District Judge Tanya Walton Pratt tossed out Fogle’s claim, writing in her decision:

If Fogle is now claiming to be ‘sovereign’, the Seventh Circuit has rejected theories of individual sovereignty, immunity from prosecution, and their ilk. […] Regardless of his theory, Fogle’s challenge of this Court’s jurisdiction is rejected.


Judge Pratt apparently has dealt with these weirdos before, and not even the magic of Sovereign Citizen anti-logic could persuade her that federal courts lack authority over people who declare themselves not subject to their jurisdiction. Which is pretty much what you’d expect from someone so deeply embedded in The System. Pratt also noted that Fogle had pleaded guilty to one count of “distributing and receiving child pornography” and also to a count of “traveling and attempting to travel to engage in illicit sexual conduct with a minor” — not that claiming he was a sovereign citizen, a free man on the land, or the King of the Sandwich Islands would have done him any good two years ago, either.

Fogle was sentenced to 15 years, and we’re sure that at some point in the future he’ll find some other stupid goddamned way of preventing us from forgetting his name. In 2030 he’s probably got a decent shot at a Senate seat, as long as he runs as a Republican in Alabama.


Source: Wonkette

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Bandit » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:40 am


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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Roofus » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:00 am

Bandit wrote:https://mobile.twitter.com/ClickHole/status/933007688702754818


:rofl:

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Manoel » Mon Jan 01, 2018 3:20 pm

Wait. Didn't he have an account at DCE?

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Dr. Zoidberg » Mon Jan 01, 2018 10:57 pm

Manoel wrote:Wait. Didn't he have an account at DCE?

Yes.

Image

After eating some Subway & molesting underage girls, he did stuff on his Dreamcast.

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Manoel » Tue Jan 02, 2018 2:39 am

Now I wonder why he's waiting for Toastman in prison…

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby OrangeRibbon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 12:04 pm

Toastman is in Prison?

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Roofus » Tue Jan 02, 2018 1:52 pm

Wait, what?

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby melancholy » Tue Jan 02, 2018 2:08 pm

Good lord people. Jaredfogle on DCEmu is not the real Jared Fogle. Zoidberg posted a screenshot of DCEmu jaredfogle, and on that screenshot is his signature that says "Where's Toastman? I'm Bored". Manoel made a joke that jaredfogle is waiting for Toastman in prison since the real Jared Fogle is in prison. Toastman is presumably not in prison and would not want to meet with the either real Jared Fogle or the fake jaredfogle since he hates both of those guys.

Does that clear everything up?

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Manoel » Tue Jan 02, 2018 2:56 pm

:rofl2:

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Roofus » Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:10 pm

melancholy wrote:Good lord people. Jaredfogle on DCEmu is not the real Jared Fogle. Zoidberg posted a screenshot of DCEmu jaredfogle, and on that screenshot is his signature that says "Where's Toastman? I'm Bored". Manoel made a joke that jaredfogle is waiting for Toastman in prison since the real Jared Fogle is in prison. Toastman is presumably not in prison and would not want to meet with the either real Jared Fogle or the fake jaredfogle since he hates both of those guys.

Does that clear everything up?


Ok. And you are...?

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby melancholy » Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:21 am

Roofus wrote:
melancholy wrote:Good lord people. Jaredfogle on DCEmu is not the real Jared Fogle. Zoidberg posted a screenshot of DCEmu jaredfogle, and on that screenshot is his signature that says "Where's Toastman? I'm Bored". Manoel made a joke that jaredfogle is waiting for Toastman in prison since the real Jared Fogle is in prison. Toastman is presumably not in prison and would not want to meet with the either real Jared Fogle or the fake jaredfogle since he hates both of those guys.

Does that clear everything up?


Ok. And you are...?

The real Jared Fogle, posting from the prison library. Seriously, how else would I know so much about them?

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Bandit » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:00 am

Born Jared Scott Fogle

Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S.


OMG.

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Big Boss Man » Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:32 am

:psyduck:

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Roofus » Wed Jan 03, 2018 8:57 am

melancholy wrote:
Roofus wrote:
melancholy wrote:Good lord people. Jaredfogle on DCEmu is not the real Jared Fogle. Zoidberg posted a screenshot of DCEmu jaredfogle, and on that screenshot is his signature that says "Where's Toastman? I'm Bored". Manoel made a joke that jaredfogle is waiting for Toastman in prison since the real Jared Fogle is in prison. Toastman is presumably not in prison and would not want to meet with the either real Jared Fogle or the fake jaredfogle since he hates both of those guys.

Does that clear everything up?


Ok. And you are...?

The real Jared Fogle, posting from the prison library. Seriously, how else would I know so much about them?

:oshocked:

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Re: Jared Fogle Decides He’s Sovereign Citizen, So he Gets Out Of Prison Now, Right?

Postby Dr. Zoidberg » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:10 pm

Image


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