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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg » Tue Aug 13, 2019 12:59 pm

Big Boss Man wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:46 am
That is just... torturous. No wonder he's blacked out from the pain. Probably going to amputate because they stuck a 7 inch nail in and caused permanent damage. I mean just WTF? No medical implement they could have used instead?.
Here's a video that explains it. It's not safe for work.
Click To View Penis Surgery Video
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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Big Boss Man » Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:49 pm

OK Thanks Zoidy. I assume they had to do that if the other method(s) were unsuccessful.

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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg » Thu Aug 22, 2019 9:51 pm


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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Bandit » Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:39 am


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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Bandit » Tue Sep 17, 2019 5:33 am



Because school shootings are way too patriarchal.

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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg » Tue Oct 01, 2019 9:11 pm

Good news everyone!


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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg » Fri Oct 04, 2019 3:05 pm

Man Charged With Repeatedly Farting During Strip Search

A man in Scotland has been ordered to perform 75 hours of community service after intentionally passing gas as police officers conducted a body cavity search.

Police responding to a vehicle collision on the Lang Stracht in Aberdeen noticed Stuart Cook, 28, speaking to the driver of another car. After observing a strong marijuana odor emanating from Cook, officers searched him and his vehicle, findind a "small amount of cannabis," according to the Evening Express.

Police handcuffed Cook, who immediately began to scream and act aggressively, He was brought to the police station in Kittybrewster where he was booked and strip-searched. During the procedure, officers claim, Cook passed wind intentionally multiple times.

"Cook... deliberately farted in the direction of the officer three times, stating, 'How do you like that?'" reported prosecutor Lucy Simpson.

His defense attorney, Laura Gracie, downplayed the incident, telling the court Cook "had been smoking a cannabis joint at the time and felt police overreacted in the way they dealt with him. He became increasingly upset with them and acted in the manner libeled."

Cook pled guilty to possession of cannabis and to behaving in a threatening or abusive manner. He was admonished without penalty for the drug charge.

This isn't the first time police have brought charges for breaking wind: In 2008, 34-year-old Jose Cruz was pulled over in West Virginia for driving without his headlights on. Cruz failed multiple field-sobriety tests and was taken to the police station to sleep it off.

While there, a criminal complaint alleged, he deliberately passed gas and made a waving motion towards a police officer in an attempt to distribute the smell toward him.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature," the complaint stated, recommending a battery charge be filed. The Kanawha County prosecutor's office ultimately dropped the matter.

Farting can also give suspects away: In July, the Clay County Sheriff's Office in Missouri reported that it was able to find a hiding suspect wanted on drug charges because of his loud farts.

"If you've got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you're definitely having a [poop emoji] day," the department wrote in a Facebook post.

Source: Newsweek

"You have the right to remain silent but deadly."

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Re: Random News Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg » Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:13 am

Man sues Apple claiming iPhone turned him gay

A Russian man has launched a lawsuit against Apple, claiming an iPhone app turned him gay.

He says this comes after an incident involving GayCoin crypto-currency.

Saying he suffered moral harm, he is asking for one million rubles (£12,000), according to a copy of the complaint seen by the news agency, AFP.

Homosexuality was decriminalised in Russia in 1993, but anti-gay prejudice is still widespread.

In 2013, Russia passed legislation banning the spreading of what it described as gay propaganda.

This officially bans the "promotion of non-traditional lifestyles to minors" but in effect outlaws LGBT activism. A number of campaigners have been attacked and killed in the past year.

So what's happened?

In a suit filed on 20 September, it is claimed a crypto-currency called "GayCoin" was delivered via a smartphone app, rather than the Bitcoin he had ordered.

Crypto-currency is basically virtual money - like an online version of cash - and Bitcoin and GayCoin are some of those currencies

According to the complaint, the GayCoin crypto-currency arrived with a note saying: "Don't judge until you try".

"I thought, in truth, how can I judge something without trying? I decided to try same-sex relationships," the complainant wrote.

"Now I have a boyfriend and I do not know how to explain this to my parents."

He adds that his "life has been changed for the worse" and he "will never become normal again".

Apple "pushed" him "towards homosexuality through manipulation", he claims.

"The changes have caused me moral and mental harm."

Sapizhat Gusnieva says the company "has a responsibility for their programmes" despite the alleged exchange taking place on a third-party app.

The court will hear the complaint on 17 October, according to information on its website.

Apple has not yet responded to Newsbeat's request for comment.

Source: BBC

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Re: Random News Thread

Post by ian » Thu Oct 10, 2019 4:14 am

Seems legit... I'd describe all the crypto miners I've ever met as totally fucking gay.

All crypto currency should just be called GayCoin!
The English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valleygirl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them, but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.

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