Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

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Bandit
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Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:23 am

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:13 am

3/11/91

-On Herb Abrams television show that aired this past week, he had Lou Albano and Don Muraco out saying that the war shouldn't be exploited to sell wrestling tickets. Then Abrams did all the commercials for his merchandise saying the profits would go to Operation Desert Storm.

-Buddy Landel did an interview talking about the title situation as well and called Steiners the world tag champs, which they don't win on TV for another week. Landel's interview was incredible where he talked like he was the kid on the sidelines in the milk commercial begging the coach to put him in because he knows he can bust through that line.

-I hope they stop this canned crowd noise during the TBS shows. I've heard of the term sound sweetening, but this is sound souring. The noise makes it impossible to get excited even during the good matches because the tape track they use is a constant dull roar.

5/18/91

-There was an altercation on Sunday at Joel Goodhart's bowl-a-thon and luncheon with Eddie Gilbert and Missy Hyatt. Missy was upset about a photographer selling 8x10's and 16x20 photos of her without her permission and complained to Goodhart and it apparently wound up with the two yelling and cursing at each other before Missy announced to the audience that she was gone.

-The co-feature, which is at least intriguing in a perverse way, has the return of Bob Backlund, making his first U.S. appearance in more than five years, facing Ivan Koloff.

-Also they held "semifinals" of the UWF television tournament. Steve Williams beat Steve Ray in a match that was worked as a shoot and became more and more a shoot as it went on and it wound up with Williams throwing Ray into the ringside steps and busting up his face. Ray was so upset he took a swing at Abrams in the ring.

-Dusty and P.N. News did a rap duet.

5/27/91

-Taylor went outside to check with Ms. York's computer. I think it said, "You don't have a prayer in this match unless they change bookers."

-Live, the Oz entrance was one of the more embarrassing moments I've had in this lifetime when it came to rationalizing being a wrestling fan. The reaction was a combination of stunned amazement and brutal obscenity-laced vehemence. The smoke was sulphur-based and the building smelled pretty bad for the remainder of the show.

-El Gigante pinned Sid Vicious in what was billed as a stretcher match in 2:11. Vicious showed up and did his job. Over the last week the word was that if Vicious didn't show up, that WCW wasn't going to release him from his contract until it expired (September 5). Believe it or not, the folks at Titan were pretty adamant about Vicious showing up as well even though it would mean their star attraction would probably do a clean job. Still, WCW planned Gigante vs. One Man Gang in the format sheets. I think many of us had a false sense of how far Gigante had progressed by seeing him so often of late in with Flair and Windham. It was like watching two blind men trying to wrestle one another. As soon as the pin took place, Vicious got up like nothing had happened.

-Herb Abrams announced the complete line-up for his UWF pay-per-view show on 6/9 at the Manatee Civic Center in Palmetto, FL. At the press conference, Abrams called the WWF and WCW "a bunch of carbon copy cartoon promotions" and called Flair and Hogan "paper champions." When asked by a reporter about the purse for the Steve Williams vs. Bam Bam Bigelow main event, Abrams said, "You could safely assume the winner will make in excess of $1 million in the next year." Too bad he didn't say that money would be earned playing Monopoly.

-Saving the most bizarre for last, they had a Battle Royal with Man Mountain Brody, who is about 5-8, and looks every bit of the 550 pounds they bill him at. He looks more like the McGuire twins and for his size, fatter than Haystacks Calhoun ever did. He won, and even took two bumps in the process when Pink Cadillac ran in and screamed some "f" words at him. Then she said, "I don't think you've got as big balls as I have clit," (and some people thought I wouldn't print that classy quote here--which, by the way, is a line she stole from Luna Vachon) and they locked up in a collar and elbow tie-up. Then she simply walked out of the ring. I'm still trying to figure out what that was supposed to accomplish.

-The TV show "Hard Copy" is working on doing a story on Ultimate Warrior similar to the one in "The Globe" last week where it said Jim Hellwig used to be a homosexual prostitute before his wrestling days. The only WWF reaction I heard to the story was just to try and ignore it and hope it goes away, which is probably the best reaction. Thus far there haven't been any reports of Warrior getting negative reactions at the house shows, even though the Globe story has been the talk inside the wrestling business.

6/3/91

-A strange incident took place at the LPWA tapings last week in Laughlin, NV. During the commentary, Madusa Miceli was wrestling and announcer Joe Pedicino called her "loony," since she was doing an off-the-wall act. Anyway, Madusa found out and after her match, as a shoot, ordered whipped cream from the waitress serving drinks and food and threw it all over Pedicino and screamed, "So I'm loony," at him.

-Dusty went so far as to claim that Muhammad Ali learned his interview style by watching Dusty Rhodes. Of course Ali was doing interviews like that in 1964 and Rhodes didn't start doing jive interviews until around 1971 but I guess when Ali started, he was able to see in the future and know what kind of interviews Rhodes would be doing.

6/24/91

-Virgil will be dressed up like a woman and called Virgilina and be in Roddy Piper's corner for matches against Ted DiBiase the rest of the summer.

7/15/91

-Boris Malenko promoted a show 7/7 at the Doll House in Tampa (a location that has a lot of significance to many readers)

-Another Ross comment on NWA Pro New York regarding the brutality of the War Games is that "it's not like those cage matches where the object is to run away. You know, the cage matches sanctioned by the Girl Scouts of America."

7/22/91

-Actually, until listening to these messages during the day, I would have never believed it was statistically possible for so many people to hate a wrestling show.

-Lex Luger beat Barry Windham in 12:25 to win the WCW world heavyweight title in a cage match. You knew Barry was doomed when they spelled his name "Windam" on the graphic. This was a tough situation. Flair was the most over wrestler on the card, and this match featured mainly chants o"We Want Flair." Clearly, the people who came were there not to enjoy this match. The heat was on Luger and Windham to rise to the occasion and make them forget about Flair, at least while their match was going on. This shouldn't have been in a cage as it detracted from the match. It was a good match, but for what was needed in the situation, it was nowhere close. Windham had a bad knee and Luger's obsession with the number on his bathroom scale in the morning works against him in the ring. Windham worked as a babyface and Luger as a heel, but nobody picked up on it. Windham did some hot stuff, especially when one considers his size. Lots of near falls and good moves. Finish saw Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come to the ring. Windham was distracted by Hughes and Race told Luger to do it. Luger gave Windham a piledriver and pinned him. After the match, Luger left with Race and Hughes. Although nobody knew it, Luger did turn heel. I think Windham turned face, but I'm not even sure about that. And if he did, who is paying for that bounty on Yellow Dog's mask? Inquiring minds want to know.

-Missy Hyatt & Rick Steiner beat Arn Anderson & Paul E. Dangerously in a cage match. What happened here is that the Maryland State Athletic Commission has a rule prohibiting man vs. woman confrontations. Somebody made a huge mistake if that's the case. If the commission wasn't going to allow it, it had no business being advertised as such. If the company knew, well, we already know this is a dishonest company. If the company didn't know, then the commission is at fault considering the match had been advertised on television for weeks. Dick Murdoch & Dick Slater
"kidnapped" Missy (now with black hair) before the match and carried her away. Poor Missy still had to take a bump because a fan went after Murdoch, and he dropped Missy on her head so he could take a pop at the fan. In the ring, Rick laid Arn out with a clothesline, then pinned Paul E. after a clothesline in 2:08. DUD

-Lightning Kid pinned Handsome Stranger when Rasta came to ringside and cursed Stranger's stomach. Stranger was on the top rope ready to beat Kid, then grabbed his stomach, gagged, fell off the top rope to the mat and was pinned

-The Rasta gimmick is completely stupid, by the way. He touches one of his body parts and then his opponent suddenly, through use of voodoo, gets an injury on the same part.

-Ole Anderson ran a show in Carrolton, GA headlined by Ole Anderson vs. Thunderbolt Patterson. You read that right, this isn't the 1981 Observer.

-There's an old saying that those of you who remember the Dudley Do-Right cartoons will recall, that the Mountie's always get their man. Well, after threatening to arrest Jacques Rougeau on charges of impersonating a Mountie, the Mounties and the WWF came up with an agreement that the heel character of The Mountie will no longer appear in Canadian arenas or on Canadian television. The character had been the subject of much newspaper publicity in Canada with the Mountie's first asking nicely for WWF to drop the character, the WWF agreeing to issue disclaimers on television before his matches and the RCMP saying it wasn't enough. Since the RCMP has no jurisdiction in the United States, it can't get the WWF to drop the character. What will be interesting is Summer Slam, since it airs on PPV in Canada and Mountie obviously is going to play his character. Yves Juteau, an RCMP spokesperson said that the two sides have reached an agreement where the character will be phased out.

7/29/91

-Ned Brady, who works for Eddie Mansfield in Florida, can no longer use the name Repo-Man. Apparently one of Brady's friends called J.J. Dillon with the Repo-Man idea and while the WWF didn't use the idea, they trademarked the idea and aren't allowing Brady to use it.

-NBC's George Michael Sports Machine, which is about the only outlet that gives this group any national coverage, aired an interview with Jim Herd on Sunday night after the Baltimore show (Flair declined the interview on advice from his lawyer, some expect a suit will be filed against WCW) where Herd said that nobody was sadder than he was to see Ric Flair leave. I guess, if you compare him with Hogan, he's sincere. But they aired the finish of the Windham-Luger match where Luger won the title and TBS legal contacted them and told them they didn't want them airing anymore finishes. Can you imagine the equivalent in another sport? Major League Baseball telling them they can't air the final out ofa World Series or Football telling them they can't air a replay of the touchdown that won the Super Bowl? Of course, if those companies did, they would get away with it but WCW, which gets no national publicity, now wants to pick-and-choose. To make it even sillier, the previous Wednesday on the local sportscast, Michael gave Lex Luger a five minute interview to plug the card.

-Teddy Long, P.N. News and Johnny B. Badd appeared on the Black Entertainment Television on a sports talk show. The appearance went great, but the funniest part was when the host asked why it's been so hard for blacks to get a break in pro wrestling. Funny since News is a white boy from Nebraska and Badd is a jewish guy with a great tan from New York City.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Big Boss Man » Sun Mar 27, 2016 8:05 am

George Michael Sports Machine
GEORGE MICHAEL MACHINE~!
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YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH BROTHERS~!

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Wed Dec 28, 2016 2:06 am

That is a great sports show though. George is a big WWE fan, he even had Diesel and Sid and HBK on the show when business was in the shitter.

And yes we called him the "George Michael Who doesn't jerk off in restrooms" in the late 90s.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Fri May 05, 2017 7:50 am

11/16/92

-Entertainment Tonight this past week did a five minute puff feature on wrestlers outside the ring showing Hulk Hogan (acting), Johnny B. Badd (personal appearance), Slick (preaching), Jesse Ventura (as a mayor), Sting (riding a Harley) and Kendall Windham (running a video dating service).

-Not as much goofy stuff this week at the Global tapings.

-The guy in the kendo outfit sparring with Madusa on the video that aired Sunday was Eric Bischoff. Bet you didn't have any idea the guy was that good with his hands and feet.

-A record called "Slam" sung by several WWF wrestlers will be released in England on 11/30 and is considered to have a good shot at being the Christmas No. 1 pop song in the country.

11/23/92

-11/20 show is being billed as Dallas Cowboys night. According to the promotion, "All of the Dallas Cowboys and their families have been invited to the Sportatorium to rock and wrestle. Come on out and meet the Dallas Cowboys." Who is promoting this group and came up with this idea? Mike Lano?

-The Jacksonville show on 11/13 was considered the best house show in a long time with excellent matches with Pillman & Austin vs. Douglas & Steamboat and a ****1/2 falls count anywhere match with Sting and Cactus Jack which saw them brawl everywhere including breaking a table inside the ring. Simmons and Barbarian couldn't follow it at all, so the next night they put Sting and Cactus on last and tore the house down again. Jack's reward was doing a TV job two nights later for Van Hammer.

11/30/92

-Not one member of the Dallas Cowboys showed up for the Dallas Cowboys night on 11/20.

-Sick angle of the week, month and maybe year. In Puerto Rico at a TV taping on 11/18, The Equalizer used a cane to scoop out the eye (glass eye) of Carl Styles to start a new feud.

-According to one indie promoter, Ultimate Warrior is asking $8,000 per show on the indie market.

12/7/92

-The Nailz vs. Jim Duggan matches at the houses over the weekend saw Nailz jump and injure Duggan before the bell rings so no match takes place, which is certainly a blessing.

-Ron Simmons' new music sucks.

12/21/92

-Cecil Fielder appeared on Global doing an interview with Angel of Death where Angel was saying how Fielder was looking to become a two-sport superstar like Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson. As for Fielder, if you've ever seen that look someone has when they'd rather be anywhere but where they are, that was it.

-Verne Gagne is staring up a touring sumo wrestling promotion using NFL football linemen.

-Oregon commissioner Bruce Anderson suspended Ron Harris for 90 days which is why The Harris Brothers are now working Memphis. As mentioned a few weeks back, Anderson wouldn't allow Brian Lee (cousin of the Harris twins) to wrestle because his license wasn't in order. Apparently Ron Harris phoned Anderson and left a message on his tape recorder threatening himself and his children. Anderson turned it over to the police and then suspended Harris.

-It's been a long time since I watched GWF on ESPN and it is as embarrassing to the business as everyone says it is.

-Rude, who was in Greensboro but didn't work because of his shoulder injury, was reportedly jumped in the parking lot by someone a lot larger than he was. Rude flattened the guy with one punch. The guy came back later and wound up with his face introduced to the hood of several different cars.

12/28/92

-Prentice in an interview talking about Miss Texas said that she was really a man named Bubba who had a sex change and that she's been having an affair with Eddie Marlin. Later in the show, Prentice came out and talked about how serious the allegations were he made and said they were 100 percent true.

-Cornette & Bodies did an interview. Cornette talked about how he's in hard training and Stan Lane said that Cory Everson has been sending Cornette love letters and Joe Weider wants to put him on the cover of Muscle and Fitness. Cornette then brought out a phone book and tried to tear it, but couldn't, and started ripping four or five pages at a time. Tom Prichard then said that this shows ICOPRO does wonders. Cornette then challenged Morton to a match right there but when Morton turned his back Cornette hit Morton with a can of coca-cola while Gibson was hit with the tennis racquet. Cornette then joked that he knew a lot of athletes these days were having problems with coke.

-Herb Abrams is planning on re-staring his UWF on 1/17 with a taping at Beverly Hills High School. He wants to re-unite Bruno Sammartino and Lou Albano as one pair of hosts although I don't believe he has a deal with either. His idea for the hosts of his other show are John Tolos & Tiny Tim (a TV personality in the late 60s who appeared once in a wrestling scenario for WWF in the late Uncle Elmer's wedding).

-Rude got some pub in a passage in Kathie Lee Gifford's best selling book "I Can't Believe I said That!" The passage talked about an appearance by Rude while he was in the WWF as her personal low point of her TV show. In August 1989, Rude was a guest doing his WWF shtick and wanted to give her a kiss and actually chased her off the set while she was two months pregnant.

1/20/93

-Although you won't probably see this on television, there were girls in the front row at the taping with signs that said: "WCW: Watts Can't Wrestle" and "Daddy told me I could win!"

-For the few of you who have come to the conclusion at this point that "Dave's sure trying to get himself over," I feel sorry for you. I think you should consider taking a week off and heading to the beach. It's not very healthy going through life and not being able to differentiate between a shoot and a work, especially when it should be obvious. That is meant very seriously, not sarcastically. Being unable to differentiate here means you are probably seriously misjudging many things far more important.

-Cornette's line of the week was when he was talking about the Fuller family and said that the Fuller family was planning a family reunion, but they have to wait until the next meeting of the state parole board to come up with a date.

-Bobby Heenan tried to get in the building dressed as a rabbi.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Big Boss Man » Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:18 pm

Tons here arranged by year

http://rspw.org/tidbits/

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Sun Oct 22, 2017 3:29 am

2/17/86

-It's been reported that Gino Hernandez's death was due to a liver ailment. There was also a gun found next to his body, however the gun hadn't been fired. Police in Dallas received literally tons of frantic calls telling them they thought the death was a murder and that Chris Adams did it, since apparently Chris had threatened to kill him on interviews. There's more to this story that I'd best not repeat until the next issue when more details come in.

-WWF's The Wrestling Album is on the way down the charts, having paked at #84. None of the singles got the expected airplay, nor got near the top 10 let alone the top 40 (they were expecting Grab Them Cakes to be the pop hit single.) Still, I'm sure they made money on the venture, even if it wasn't a top 10 smash as some in the company were expecting.

-The February 7th show has -- get this -- a double main event of Roddy Piper vs Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer vs. Jesse Ventura.

-Hulk Hogan was on The Love Boat last week. Heard it was awful.

-I'm told Chavo Guerrero is on thin ice again with the Houston office. On a recent card, he and Hector faced Lane & Keirn in a bout where the losers were to be painted yellow. Anyway, Hector got hurt and they painted Chavo. Chavo got so pissed off he threw the paint can into the crowd, splattering some of the fans with paint. He also refused to do an interview covered in the paint as planned.

-My god, Dusty is fatter than ever. In all seriousness, the guy should retire and stick to booking, because he's worse than I ever remembered in the ring.

-Howard Cossel talks about Vince McMahon in his new book. "In early 1984 I got a call from Vince McMahon. After a quick and precise introduction, he wanted me to be the primary announcer on his wrestling telecasts. I said "You can't be serious." He said "I'm dead serious." Come on, boxing was bad enough. Now he wanted me to end my career calling phony wrestling matches. Good lord, he must be crazy. I told him I wasn't interested, then I heard anger creeping into his voice. "You really want to be a part of it. You should think about it." I told him I wanted no part of it. "Well, fuck you Howard!" he said. "Wrestling is going to be the biggest sport in the country, and I don't need you anyway!" The guy really turned on me just like that, so I hung up on him. After I hung up, I thought McMahon was a real kook. But he's a very successful one."

-The news in AWA is Verne has told people he's finally going to "get with it" and modernize his promotion with entrance music and younger wrestlers. Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels will be coming in as the American Express, which will be a Rock & Roll Express rip off gimmick.

-I thought Scott Hall had potential. But man, that guy has screwed up more finishes than I care to think about.

-Lately it looks like Kerry and Kevin Von Erich's brain problems have spread to the rest of their body.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:44 am

2/24/86

-The Gino Hernandez news that came out Thursday was that he actually died of a cocaine overdose. This did not surprise many people. But the fact that they let it become public knowledge surprised me. The story got play within the Dallas media. People have been telling me the drug problem in the business going public would eventually be the undoing of the wrestling resurgence. One veteran wrestler told me "I can't believe it. It should be these kids hearing about us dying as old men. Instead, we're the ones burying them."

-Mr. T faced Orton in a boxing match on the NBC show. I was told Mr. T blew up towards the end of round one (the rounds were 2 minutes) and they would have to edit round two before the KO. WWF editing is great, so you probably won't be able to tell. Except those of us who will watch it with glee at Mr. T dying out there. Even holding light gloves up gets tiring very quick if you aren't used to it, so I don't know what they were expecting from him.

-Honestly, I don't know if wrestling has a bright future. No new real talent is being developed, and the newcomers being pushed don't deserve it. Within 10 years, Ric Flair, Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen, Harley Race, Terry Funk, Ted DiBiase, etc. will have all retired. But to make it worse, Tojo Yamamoto, Junkyard Dog and Rufus Jones will probably still be wrestling. So I'm not sure it'll be worth watching anymore.

-Vince McMahon has denied he's paying Refrigerator Perry $150,000 as reported. But I have been told on good authority he is indeed being paid that, plus a possible percentage of the gate.


3/24/86


-Jesse Ventura is in very poor health, and his doctor has demanded he not wrestle anymore. He has filed an insurance claim, officially retiring. Although he can't wrestle due to these insurance reasons, I wouldn't be surprised if he wrestles unannounced on smaller shows. But for now he will just be doing a live "Body Shop" on house shows.

-WWF has been going after Ted DiBiase in a major way. They want him to come in as a heel, but Ted really wanted to be a babyface for a few years. But with the offer reportedly being $6,000 per week, I cannot see him turning that kind of money down.

-After the 20/20 special on wrestling aired last year, people have been asking me what Eddie Mansfield did to get blackballed. He had a big track record of no showing in several territories. While some big names can get away with even frequent no-shows in desperate circuits, Mansfield (contrary to claims) was never a headliner in a major circuit. He did hold some regional titles, though. He got himself fired from several jojbs for not showing up for bookings, just as you or I would if we stopped going into our jobs. This isn't to say Mansfield didn't have some valid beefs with the business, just that on his TV appearance he misrepresented his stature in the business and his reasons for no longer being in it.

-Fans are outraged after buying the Great American Bash VHS tape. It was 3 and 1/2 hours, but the tape has the matches edited down to 59 minutes. WWF tapes are at least edited down to two hours.

4/22/86

-Over all, the Wrestlemania II show has to be considered a major flop. Certainly money wise the show was not a winner. When all is said and done, the losses won't be that great. But from a psychological standpoint, this show had to be devastating to Titan Sports. You can just tell that overall, the media no longer considers professional wrestling a hot item as they did last year. But the NBC Saturday shows still did 15 million viewers, and they had another 1.5 million for their MTV special. They are working on building a cable pay per view audience, but so far only one national pay per view event in history (the boxing match between Sugar Ray Leonard and Thomas Hearns) has ever made a profit. And certainly Wrestlemania II didn't have the public interest of that fight.

-Word is Mr. T didn't train a bit for the boxing match with Piper, so most people in the company have nothing but distain for him. It was obvious during the match that Piper could have cleaned his clock at all. Mr. T couldn't even hold his gloves up he was so out of shape, but Piper still took the dive for him in the third round from a non-punch. It really would have been the right thing for the business if Roddy just took him out. Instead, Mr. T wins but looks like a complete joke, which is fine. But Roddy comes out looking unable to beat a complete joke, and that's not fine for one of your leading heels. I just hope plans to have them in a cage match at the next Wrestlemania are dropped. Mr. T just doesn't work. -***** (That is negative 5 stars, which match this the single worst rating in the history of the sport.)

-The British Bulldogs put in a great performance, but it was in poor taste for the WWF to end the match with a slob character manager and a celebrity (Ozzy Osbourne) serving no purpose to steal the "moment of glory" from the WWF's two best wrestlers, as they paraded around with the tag team titles as Dynamite Kid laid on the floor and Davey went to check on him.

-Hulk Hogan beat King Kong Bundy in a cage match in 11:00 to retain the WWF title. I wonder if they had to pay Hogan time-and-a-half for going more than 9 minutes? They flew in a Calgary cage along with the Hart family to set it up to allow Hulk to climb it without taxing his incredible athletic prowess.

-From what I heard in reports from the closed circuit shows, the fans everywhere treated Piper like the babyface and Mr. T as the heel.

-I think it was a mistake to use Cathy Lee Crosby on the show. They shouldn't allow fans to see anybody prettier than Elizabeth, who they're trying to get over as having great movie star beauty.

5/12/86

-Uncle Elmer was fired shortly after the NBC taping. He couldn't work and was getting on everyone's nerves as well. In fact, there was talk that getting fired was in his best interest, because several guys had absolutely had it with him.

6/10/86

-Apter mags have turned into the Lex Luger Fan Club. They're already calling the guy "a legend" and act like he's the greatest thing since Lou Thesz

-I'm planning on attending the AWA show in Oakland if nothing better comes along.

-Fritz will be bringing Abdullah the Butcher in. Imagine how awful his matches against Mike Von Erich will be.

-There was talk that Vince McMahon demanded the renewal of Tuesday Night Titans as a condition on staying on USA Network. It only gets half of the ratings that the wrestling shows get, but Vince loves the show for some reason.

6/28/86

-The newest monster in Crockett is named Warlord. I believe he's the 340 pound bodybuilder Fritz was talking about turning into a Road Warrior (so his kids can beat a Road Warrior.) But something fell through so he went to Crockett instead.

-The World Class office is in total disarray, which is about the nicest thing I can say.

7/21/86

-Vince McMahon has been a very busy man lately trying to contact virtually all of the existing top talent he doesn't already have under contract. And he has been turned down by the vast majority, beyond Butch Reed and Kansas City manager Slick.

-Mike Von Erich is wrestling full time now, and as silly as this sounds, they are making him into a killer even though he only weighs 185 pounds. Anyone he punches has to go flying is one of the rules when you wrestle him. Kind of like what the heels in Mid South have to do for Bill Watts. But at least Bill Watts weighs 295 pounds.

-I apologize for the typing problems. Mine is in the shop due to exhaustion, so I am using a manual type writer. Which is about as reliable as Jimmy Snuka.

-Piper said in an interview he's thinking about trying to become a professional boxer since he enjoyed training for the Mr. T match so much (please, let's not get carried away here.)

-In the gross story of the week, on a recent card in St. Joseph, MO, "Big" Bob Owens entered the ring with yellow trunks. He left the ring with yellow trunks in the front, but the back of his trunks now had a strange dark brown coloring.

-My pick for the worst 20 wrestlers in the world: Tojo Yamamoto (you haven't lived until you've seen him live), Kendall Windham, Uncle Elmer, Mike Von Erich, Andre the Giant, Ivan Putski, Billy Graham, Jimmy Valiant, Bob Armstrong, Junk Yard Dog, George Steele, Hillbilly Jim, John Studd, SD Jones, Pedro Morales, Lance Von Ericih, Baron Von Raschke, Tony Atlas, Jimmy Snuka.

-Lady Maxine did an out of character interview on a local talk show in Baltimore. She described being in Fabulous Moolah's female wrestler group as "like being in Cell Block H." She hinted his might do a tell all book about her life in pro wrestling, since he's very down on the business and has gone back to her old job of being a journalist for a small town newspaper.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Big Boss Man » Fri Oct 27, 2017 2:14 am

Are full 86 observers around I'd like to check them out.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:55 am

Some. But they're a copy of a copy of a copy so they're almost impossible to read.

I don't think Dave has the originals. He was doing WON as a hobby until 1988 when he could make enough to quit his newspaper sportswriter job. So he didn't think he'd be in a situation where people would want back issues. So from the early 80s to 1987 he only really saved yearbooks.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Big Boss Man » Sat Oct 28, 2017 6:15 am

OK thats interesting. I think Bryan said something like Dave has some older pre 1991 Observers saved on an old PC/floppy that he can't access. Say it's in an old word processor document format then he might be able to convert them to something that can be opened in Word etc. But first he'd have to get them to a modern day PC and if its on an old floppy disc (not the 3.5 ones) there's little to no chance he could read them on a modern PC, unless he finds one with like Windows 3.1/95 and emails it somehow.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Sat Oct 28, 2017 6:37 am

Yeah, I don't think he got a computer until 1988 when he made it his career. Before then he was using an electric type writer and making copies to send out at Kinkos, which much have been pretty expensive compared to just printing them off of his computer.

He's probably going to stop the print version when the older wrestlers who subscribe but don't use computers or ipads like Harley Race and Terry Funk die. The days of guys passing sheets of WON around during car rides to shows are long gone since they can just pull it up on their phones.

PW Torch isn't even close to as good as WON, but give Wade credit for going digital at least 5 years before Dave & Bryan merged (and F4W was a year behind Torch too IIRC.)

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Big Boss Man » Sun Oct 29, 2017 4:18 am

If Dave has any original printed copies he could OCR scan them. Although OCR has its limitations and it might translate the text to garbled mess. Unless someone retyped them up again from an original copy. Yea I think he'll phase out the print copies. I'd imagine when it was pre net it was like a huge deal to get inside knowledge. Now it's like insider gossip is everywhere.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:38 pm

10/5/98

-The show started falling apart here. Fans booed the hell out of Disciple even though he's supposed to be with Warrior (actually partially because of that, and partially because he's Disciple) until the match started, and then they went to sleep.

-The cops escorted not only the Horsemen, but also Doug Dillenger out of the building (Schiavone was hilarious later in the show when another fan hopped the guard rail and he said that's what happens when you send Dillenger out of the building)

-Sting and the Giant both missed the house show in Utica, NY. Sting was replaced by Rick Steiner, who teamed with Lex Luger and Giant was replaced by Stevie Ray who teamed with Hall.

-Raven, Jericho and Disco will be appearing soon on an episode of "The Dating Game.

-In the United Kingdom, they are now airing Thunder right after Nitro on Friday nights so, with some editing of each show for content, it's about a four-and-a-half hour nightly block of WCW which is said to be at this point pure torture

10/12/98

-They had a big brawl backstage with the Wolfpac showing up in a humvee limo and started attacking everyone in sight. Bagwell was even involved physically. There were a million cops around who couldn't break up anything. Remind me never to vacation in Columbia with a police force that incompetent.

-Sting used a forklift to pick-up, turn over and smash Hogan's limo and Nash, Luger and Konnan smashed out the headlights and windows with sledge hammers. Where were the cops while this was going on? Right there watching.

-They aired a taped Warrior interview. Warrior was there, but after the problems the previous week, they didn't dare put him before a live crowd so everyone could see him get booed out of the place. Even taped and pre-produced, his interview still sucked.

-Disciple got on the mic and said he'd never carry Hogan's bags again, to get over as a face. Everyone booed him.

-Throughout the show, Mike Tenay and a camera crew were chasing down Nash, Konnan and Luger in their search for Hall as a local tavern. They went to two places, one of which was deserted, another of which had maybe 15 people at. It's like, they are big stars, don't they hang out in places that have at least one personally who even vaguely resembles a pretty girl? Finally they found Hall in a third place. Without any provocation, Nash attacked Hall and was pounding him on the pool table and took him into the bathroom and closed the door. Was that scary or what? When they let Tenay in, Hall was asleep over the toilet. Boy after seeing that for 20 seconds, it really builds up anticipation to see them do a bar fight on the next PPV.

-Arn Anderson came out with 10-year-old Reid Fliehr, who was nervous and Arn had to carry him through. He started by saying "Mean, Gene!" which would have been cute had Mean Gene actually been there.

-Sting finally got the scorpion on Hart and Zbyszko started claiming it wasn't being applied properly so he and Schiavone had this discussion over the finer points of the scorpion while Hart was selling like this was the end of his career.

-The main event on the 9/27 show in Erie, PA wound up as Hall vs. Nash, and it barely took place as Nash refused to wrestle Hall while he was drunk and walked off for the COR. Bet the fans there loved that creativity, or creative way of nobody taking any bumps on a house show

-One of Ultimo Dragon's students from Naucalpan was brought in for a try-out and given the ring name "Tam Pong" in someone's idea of a practical joke.

-Scott Steiner, who arrived late for the show and was yelled at, then yelled over the p.a. at the crowd "blow me."

-Hall & Giant were scheduled to defend the tag titles against Disorderly Conduct, but since Giant no-showed Hall came out and did a promo saying that since Nash was the size of two guys, he told Giant to stay home, and while still acting totally loaded, beat Conduct in a handicap match. Finale saw a rematch with Bulldog and Wright going a DCOR, this time in 2:00. It was supposed to go longer and maybe have a different finish, but get this. They ran out of tape and just signalled for the guys to go home.

10/19/98

-Poor Dale Torborg in his Nitro debut not only got booed out of the building playing babyface against Kendall Windham, but looked terrible and then blew out his knee doing his high kick finish in 4:20. Torborg came out wearing a race driver pit crew outfit which might as well have had the words "jobber" written on them. Even if he was good, which he wasn't the fans would have shit all over him just because of the terrible ring outfit.

-Bagwell could have been an awesome face if it had been done right, but that's just another angle blown. He did well carrying the interview challenged human bicep, ending when Scott gave him a low blow and dropped him throat first on the top rope. The throat drop should have gotten super heat considering Bagwell's injury but it got no heat at all because by this time nobody actually believes Bagwell was even hurt in the first place. Judy did the angle no favors by laughing right into the camera as Marcus was doing a great sell job. That's the risks you take when you let Nitro become amateur hour.

-Kevin Nash challenged Hall to a match. Hall showed up and ran. Nash ran after him. Major rule of thumb in pro wrestling. Don't ever show a guy, particularly a face, running to chase someone when they can't run. Nash, who has bad knees from multiple operations over the years, ran so slow and unathletic which made him look like a big clod, then stopped running.

-In the "high" point of the show, Gene Okerlund interviewed Rick Steiner, who had a verbal duel with the puppet Chucky from the Childs Play series of movies. Poor Steiner having to be put in a position to challenge a puppet to fight. Fans hated this segment with a passion.

-Tony Schiavone said that Tenay was on location with Hall at a bar about 40 miles away. Hall then cut the promo acting like he was drunk and mentioned Nash knew the place because they used to hang out there because it was right down the street from Market Square Arena. A limo, supposedly containing Nash, peeled out of the parking lot of the Market Square Arena. Schiavone came back and again talked about how the bar was 40 miles away.

-Disciple did the funniest interview of the year. He tried to be a face but nobody cheered him. He let people in on this big secret. Hogan gets guys who have no business in the company jobs because they are his friends. He mentioned he wasn't one of them, because as we all know, he was a big star without anyone's help (when was that?). But he pointed out Hogan's nephew Horace Boulder and challenged him. After that great mic work, you could have heard a pin drop. Disciple got the pin with the world's slowest stunner in 1:46. Horace jumped him after the match. Hold off your votes for feud of the year.

-Hall ran in and attacked Luger. The storyline was that he wasn't drunk after all and it was all a swerve. Nobody explained why Tenay never came back if Hall could make it back and we were forced to endure two hours of Lee Marshall. Now that wasn't a DQ even though both guys were stomping the hell out of Luger. Ray then hit Luger with a slapjack. That was a DQ. Konnan made the save but Hall destroyed him as well. In the building, fans started to file out, and they tried to keep them from leaving by saying the Horsemen would be coming out later in the show.

10/26/98

-The announcers were paying such close attention to the match they didn't even recognize La Parka had turned on his teammates.

-The idea of where this is all going is that Guerrero is going to do a Jerry Maguire gimmick as a sports agent where all the Mexicans will negotiate through him and he'll take 50% of their money, making them wash his cars and basically take advantage of them since in wrestling, all non-Americans except for Canadians are inherently ignorant third world peasants.

-Scott Steiner came out to a face reaction and called Judy Bagwell a tramp.

-They were building up the dream main event of Hogan vs. Horace the entire show.

-Kidman, Disco and Jericho taped a segment of The Dating Game this past week, all doing their wrestling characters. The girl chose Jericho saying she liked how he wanted to be her role model

11/2/98

-Before the opener, Rick Steiner came out for an interview. I was expecting Chucky, who was yet another major no-show, to jump him and lay him out so he wouldn't wrestle Scott.

-Saturn came out with his chain mesh type of top that looked right out of downtown San Francisco.

-Hogan pinned Warrior in 14:20. Warrior came out to Warrior sux chants. I guess steroids do a number on your hearing as well as he was acting like they were all cheering him. A comedy of mistimed spots of epic proportions. After the sloppiest ref bump spot of the year, Hogan started beating up Nick Patrick. Giant came out and Hogan held Warrior. Of course Warrior moved and Giant kicked Hogan. Warrior clotheslined Giant over the top. He actually took a good bump which was the first one of the match. Warrior decked Vincent and Stevie Ray. He went for the pin on Hogan but no ref. Hogan back suplexed Warrior and whipped him hard with his weight belt. Warrior came back with a series of mistimed punches and missed a splash. After more messed up looking spots, Hogan pulled this bag out of his trunks. It looked like some drug paraphernalia but it was flash paper. Hogan was supposed to throw a fireball at Warrior. But after attempting to light the flash paper in slow-motion, he threw the fireball and nothing happened. No fireball. The whole place groaned and poor Warrior, who didn't have a clue to begin with, really didn't know what to do. This spot will be replayed for the next 100 years and at this point they had blown away the Sid Vicious-Night Stalker match as the worst match of the past two decades. Somehow the paper then ignited for a split second, nearly burning Hogan's hand. He was supposed to throw fire and somehow ring announcer David Penzer was supposed to put his jacket on Warrior and somehow Warrior was supposed to make a comeback. Warrior improvised and came off the top twice with sledges. Hogan sliced his forehead open. Hogan then threw a low blow and threw a messed up clothesline but missed a legdrop. Horace came out. Warrior came back with three mistimes clotheslines. Bischoff came out to grab the ref and then Horace hit Warrior with a chair and Hogan got the pin. Horace poured lighter fluid on Warrior and they teased they were going to set him on fire, but Doug Dillenger made the save. Hogan told Horace that by doing this he'd passed the NWO initiation. That Undertaker-Kane storyline makes perfect sense. -*****

-On the Time Magazine internet balloting for Man of the Century, Ric Flair is now in third place trailing Jesus Christ and Adolf Hitler. Raven is in ninth place.

-Scott Steiner went on a major roid rage calling Roddy Piper a queer.

-Yokozuna was asked to do a run-in in the Hall vs. Nash match in Las Vegas to attack Nash. He was offered $10,000 just for the run-in and turned it down because he said he was too busy.

11/16/98

-They then pushed hard that President Clinton would be there live.

-Hogan & Bischoff came out of the limo with Hogan dressed exactly like Ventura. Hogan said he was running for President and kissing Ventura's ass well past the point of nausea. Hogan is setting a record time from being the biggest money player in the game to becoming a pathetic old man right before our eyes.

-Maybe NBC should do another special on wrestling and delve into something more complicated, like explaining WCW booking.

-For those who think WCW overpays its wrestlers, the total payroll for the company is $36 million and the company this year will gross between $175 million and $200 million. If you compare that with pro sports, the wrestlers, and that includes Hogan, Hart and everyone except Rodman, are totally underpaid by the standards of baseball and basketball. By the way, in regard to the item of Rodman's pay for the Bash at the Beach PPV from last week's issue, he was paid a $1.5 million base and a 50% cut above $5 million gross or approximately $2.51 million for the match.

11/23/98

-They brought out a chunky Monica Lewinsky lookalike as Hogan's "Intern" and she pulled a cigar out of her bra. She went to leave and Bobby Heenan made a remark about having to roll her out in a wheelbarrow.

-After getting married over the weekend, Dennis Rodman is trying to get out of it saying he was totally wasted so it shouldn't count. If that's the case, shouldn't WCW use the same logic to say his wrestling contract was invalid?

11/30/98

-Stevie Ray threw a thrust kick that missed by five inches that Konnan sold. Vincent set up a spot where he was going to hit Konnan with the slapjack but Konnan reversed it and Ray took the blow. Well, actually that move missed as well, but Ray sold it like he was dead.

-Stevie Ray vs. Van Hammer was so horrible that it really has to be seen to be believed, like a 3:30 Readers Digest version of Hogan vs. Warrior but with a comatose crowd.

-Wright beat up Pepe but Chavo made the save. If they ever run that interpromotional PPV, they can make it that Pepe has a crush on the Head and that they can have a horse-human wedding with Mr. Socko presiding over it.

-It appears likely WCW is just going to eat Warrior's contract as they didn't even bring him to Auburn Hills for the PPV and he wasn't brought to Nitro either.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Big Boss Man » Thu Jan 18, 2018 7:16 pm

In the United Kingdom, they are now airing Thunder right after Nitro on Friday nights so, with some editing of each show for content, it's about a four-and-a-half hour nightly block of WCW which is said to be at this point pure torture
Yep, Doctors should have used it as a cure for Insomnia

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:24 am

12/7/98

-Hulk Hogan announced his retirement on the Tonight show on 11/26 and talked about running for President. Supposedly they had a pre-show agreement that Jay Leno would throw him nothing but softballs, and some in WCW felt Leno double-crossed them by actually making Hogan look silly like asking him if he's going to be a Republican or Democrat ("Right down the middle, brother") and if he has any issues ("flat tax, brother"). After the latter comment, Leno asked him what the flat tax should be, and Hogan stuttered before coming up with 16 percent. When Leno asked him how he got that figure, he stuttered again and mumbled something about 16 being more than 15 percent. Good luck, brother.

-Hart did an interview saying because of his groin injury (legit, although in the storyline he's faking), he couldn't wrestle, but Page came out and called him names. Hart agreed to do the match as long as it was no DQ. Hart had this hilarious line when fans were taunting him about his injury saying that none of them even have groins.

-Mike Tenay missed the 11/30 show with laryngitis, which was actually acknowledged on the air and they told the truth. Remember that because it may be the last time.

12/14/98

-The Giant was arrested after the 12/3 Thunder in Memphis on charges of sexual battery from an incident that allegedly took place the previous night at the local Hilton the wrestlers were staying at. The charges were dropped the next day when other wrestlers came up with an alibi saying they were with him and the police didn't have enough physical evidence. Giant was accused by hotel clerk Minda Klitzner of coming up to her and saying, "Do you know why they call me The Giant?" and she responded, "because you're so tall," and he responded with another reason, allegedly whipped it out and began rubbing on her. She was claiming she was going to file a civil suit after the criminal charges were dropped. Apparently, because of Giant's size, the police were scared to death the next day when they were given word to arrest him, and they sent 24 officers to the Mid South Coliseum to pick him up. Many WCW wrestlers went to the jail to give him moral support.

-Speaking of plans, the idea that Nash wins the title and then hands the belt to Hogan and creates a new NWO with himself, Hall, Hogan and Luger which was reported here as an idea given up on is not a dead idea.

-Nitro in Houston opened with a tape of Steiner beating up Wildcat Willie.

-Hart came out for an interview. With no program to talk about, he mainly talked about his cat being happy to see him.

-This was one of the most perplexing three hours of Nitro ever. How can you put on a show this bad when you have this kind of a live gate?

-Bischoff wanted Jericho to sign his new deal on the spot. When Jericho didn't, Bischoff ordered the TV belt taken from him.

-With Mike Tenay not out there, Tony Schiavone and Lee Marshall didn't know if it was Villano IV or V. As if the roman numeral on the trunks isn't a dead giveaway.

-Because there were so many no-shows already (Raven, Saturn, Alex Wright, Disco), they wound up having Ciclope come out again without his mask as Elvis Gonzalez (Elvis is from Tupelo of course) and job for Chris Adams.

12/21/98

-Raven's mom showed up backstage and asked Kanyon to bring her to him, but Kanyon wanted $50 because he was broke and she's rich.

-Hogan is booked on Howard Stern this week. Stern made Hogan look bad a few years back the last time he was on, and with this President thing, well, if Hogan thought Jay Leno made him look bad, given Stern's reputation for liking to embarrass celebrities it could be ugly.

12/28/98

-Gene Okerlund interviewed Raven. He got a mixed reaction. He actually said something funny, about his mom (no it isn't his real mom, it was an actress who apparently went to the same acting school as that lady years ago who played Cactus Jack's wife when he was suffering from amnesia in one of those classicly bad WCW angles) just wanting to get attention for herself and be on TV, figuring if Judy Bagwell could hold half the tag title in WCW, then she figured she could go on TV and spear Goldberg.

-Steve McMichael is still gone, apparently in massive depression after seeing how good his ex-wife looked almost naked after only ten gazillion dollars worth of plastic surgery.

-Flair, Arn, Benoit and Malenko went into the NWO dressing room and did a four-on-one on Scott Norton. With four guys, one of whom was Flair, who may be old, but this segment was specifically designed for Norton to play stooge and get Flair over, and another was Arn Anderson with a lead pipe, Norton didn't want to sell at all. Norton was basically holding his own with all four. Save that crap for Japan where you're a star. He should have been fired for screwing the angle that bad, and by the way, they should dump Brian Adams in a river.

-Bischoff came out, because the fans appeared to be having too much fun. Flair went after him and the police arrested Flair on charges of doing an interview that made everyone else in the business look like a rank amateur. Either that or for using obscene language in public in a pattern that tricked the censors. The announcers explained that the NWO has been doing this stuff for years and getting away with it but when the Horsemen do it, they get arrested, and the explanation was that Bischoff controls the police force. Nothing makes local police departments look more corrupt or inept than a Monday night TV taping.

-Robbie Rage came out. Kaos has half of the tag team title with Rick Steiner, which makes no sense since Rick Steiner is out for months, and Kaos had already vacated the belts to form the infamous Steiner & Judy Bagwell championship team. Rage started yelling at Kaos about having the belts. He told him he'd have to make a choice, the belts or him, and since this issue was so important WCW went to a commercial right in the middle of the angle and when they came back, the announcers never acknowledged anything.

-USA Today on 12/18 ran a short piece on Dana Hall. Hall was quoted as saying about wrestling, "This is a form of entertainment that reaches millions of people, much of them children. The abuse of status and bad role modeling and drug abuse among the wrestlers is out of control." Alan Sharpe of WCW responded saying that Scott Hall was in rehab earlier this year and "Since Scott has returned, he's been professional and performed his job for WCW like he should. The man has a right to make a living. He's conducted himself well with us. We can't just ask him to leave. Believe me, if he came to one of our tapings and we felt like he was under the influence, them, yeah, we would have a problem." HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, my computer went berserk having to type that quote.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Big Boss Man » Mon Feb 05, 2018 6:09 am

Had to add this smilie/emoticon to this topic, props to 3rivers

Image

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Mon Feb 05, 2018 6:47 am

Ha, back when he went to Japan for AJPW shows and people asked him for autographs thinking he was Scotty Flamingo.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Ocelot » Tue Feb 06, 2018 2:08 pm

I love this fucking thread.

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Re: Dirt Sheet Lulz & Knowledge Droppings

Post by Bandit » Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:52 pm

1/4/99
-In Japan, they had hyped a Norton vs. Van Hammer IWGP title match, which never took place to the chagrin of the audience watching on PPV there, but to everyone else's pleasure.

-Tony Schiavone spent most of the match hyping the main events later in the show. I don't understand the psychology. Everyone watching has already paid there $30 and it isn't like they are going to flip to La Femme Nikita and miss the main events.

-Schiavone at this point said that Flair had suffered a mild heart attack, this coming one week after they declared based on Flair running around that he must not have suffered a heart attack. At least he didn't try to say that Cactus Jack still had amnesia.

-Adams & Norton beat David Finlay & Jerry Flynn in 8:56 when Norton pinned Flynn after a power bomb. Real stiff Japan style match, but nobody cared about any of the four in a cold match. Actually people were resenting all four for just intruding on their show.

-Bischoff did an interview, also saying that Flair had suffered a heart attack.

-At this point Schiavone said that he didn't think Flair had suffered a heart attack because the only person he'd heard it from was Bischoff, and Bischoff is a liar. You'd think in two weeks, Tony would get himself some good sources. Can you imagine if Mike Piazza collapsed in a baseball game two weeks earlier and the announcers would have absolutely no clue as to what his medical condition was. Geez, even in a TV soap opera you find out the next day.

-I don't know if you've heard about the plans for the Uncensored PPV in March. They're going to put Hogan vs. Flair as one of the top matches, but Hogan isn't going to bother to even show up. So just before they say Flair is the winner of the match via forfeit, Flair's cell phone rings and it's Hogan, who tells him to lay down, and Flair does so Hogan gets the win even though he's 3,000 miles away.

-Schiavone said that anyone who follows the sport of karate knows the name of Eric Bischoff. Yeah, like he was on the cover of Black Belt all those years nobody bought the magazine.

-They announced Goldberg's record at 173-0, despite just two weeks earlier him having the no contest draw on Nitro for all the world to see. I guess they just figured everyone was watching Raw that quarter hour and it's like if a tree falls in an empty forest, did it really make any noise mentality. So if nobody buys one of these shows, do they really have all those ref bump finishes?

-Tony Schiavone was talking the entire show about Flair's medical condition, and at this point said that he never believed Flair really had a heart attack. Well, if you didn't believe it, why did you say it 400 times the past two weeks. They brought out Flair's cardiologist. Boy was that boring. He started reading all his medical textbooks and tried to make sure everyone turned to Raw. When he was finished, the announcers looked shocked with the revelation that, get this--Flair was poisoned. Where are the police? Oh yeah, they're getting ready to do a stupid angle on Raw.

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