Random links & other crap

[Skynet]

I've heard him on the radio and the dude is hilarious, he gives no fucks.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Bandit]

You are witnessing the birth of a Republican.

[Bandit]

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LADIES

Reminds me of the this substitute I had in seventh grade language arts. The class started out normal, but then she kept talking about her past and all the mistakes she made. Eventually, she's at the front of the classroom holding back tears while talking about how she bullied other girls. The lesson? It's because of karma that she was fat, because she made fun of fat girls back in middle school.

Mind you, this was four hours after we had watched the morning TV news report on the arrest of our actual teacher. Her kids had been selling drugs out of her house, and had a small stockpile of automatic weapons hidden around the house.

[Bandit]

I always just had boring old people for teachers. The only interesting one was the history teacher who was really into 9/11 conspiracy theories pretty early on.

[Bandit]

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[Bandit]

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Meanwhile in South Dakota

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[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Bandit]

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I don't want to imagine Ben Shapiro having sex.

And boy, what a gentleman for not saying pussy.

[Bandit]

I don't want to imagine Ben Shapiro having sex.

[Bandit]

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I've sat through years of dudes like the Ying Yang Twins talking about their dicks, so I'm fine with nasty ladies rapping about their junk.

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[Bandit]

I remember seeing him on TV after Louis CK said "Sarah Palin has a retard making cunt" or something like that on Opie & Anthony. He called it "her private zone" like a child being taught about Stranger Danger. So, yeah, he only had sex twice in his life for procreation.