The Australian Politics Thread

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OrangeRibbon
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by OrangeRibbon »

what was all that about?

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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

Lockdowns, construction workers needing to get vaccinated to work and stuff like that.

Also far right wing people are going to these protests, pretending to be tradies and making things worse.

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ian
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by ian »

It's a damn good thing that construction was deemed not necessary and shut down in Melbourne JUST before Victoria had an earthquake.
Now with the earthquake none of the buildings should be inspected or fixed, because Y'know, construction isn't essential according to the government.
So some buildings might fall down, but keeping people safe is our top priority.

You couldn't make this shit up. Goverment calls construction unnecessary and shuts it down, 4 days later there's an earthquake. What fucking laugh.

Next the Victorian Government plan to say farmers and water suppliers aren't essential.
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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

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ian
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by ian »

The prime minister has COVID.

His COVID test has been the first positive thing about him.
Smug, self satisfied, fruitcake.
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Bandit
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Bandit »

ian wrote: Wed Mar 02, 2022 10:02 am The prime minister has COVID.

His COVID test has been the first positive thing about him.
Smug, self satisfied, fruitcake.
I think tonight is the end of COVID. The PM of the 2nd toughest country about COVID besides New Zealand gets COVID and Biden is announcing the end of restrictions in a speech here in the US in a few hours. You have to take the stance of "Fuck it" at this point. America's Surgeon General announced he has it too last week.

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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

It's still early in the count but it looks like Labor have won the SA state election. Antony Green thinks it's over.


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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

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ian
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by ian »

So, who do we think is going to win the election?

While I admit that the United Australia Party's song is stupid, patriotic and catchy and will win them just a shitload of votes. And that Pauline Hanson using Stepmates to make her a series of animated comedy smear shorts will also get her a shitload of votes, there's no way all the money and racism in the world can win alone. I think that Scomo may just win again.
We as a nation were fucking stupid enough to let him in the first time, but unlike the Americans who have a shred of common sense NOT to vote the complete incompetence in for a second term, as a collective whole I think Australians are stupid enough to do it again.

The song I'm talking about is catchy, It's a vote winner:

It'll work because Make America Great Again is too complicated for us... Make Australia Great with a catchy song will do a great job at landing a lot of people who would throw their vote away.

And the Animated smear campaign:

I've watched the whole lot, because Stepmates are hilarious. But not even they could get me to vote for the vile, racist piece of shit in a million years. We've had a Ranga Prime Minister before, and it didn't fucking work, and Julia wasn't a total garbage can of a person for 25 years prior.

I think Albanese COULD almost win on his sole platform of not being Scott Morrison, but labour governments typically invest a lot of money to various things, and I'm not sure we're in a position to be spending at the moment.
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2dr
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by 2dr »

The Pauline Hanson one made me wet me kegs I laughed so hard. Awesome. She really should be our next PM.

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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Ocelot »

That song fuckin' slaps.

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ian
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by ian »

Ocelot wrote: Sun Apr 17, 2022 5:17 am That song fuckin' slaps.
I know right?
I heard it a few weeks ago, and instantly thought that's catchy enough to get a shit load of votes, and if we're particularly sick of Scomo, possibly win an election. It's been rent free in my head on and off since then.

The party didn't even need to have an obnoxious and intrusive advertising campaign. By simply having this single song it will get more votes than the rest combined.
And the rest of the advertising combined has been A LOT... Of course there's been TV, radio, and newspapers, that's just standard practice, but they didn't stop there, there's been letterbox drops, door knockers, text messages, YouTube and Facebook ads, billboards, community notice posters, pedestrian crossing button stickers... You name it, they are advertising on it.

And all they needed was this song.
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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

ian wrote: Sun Apr 17, 2022 2:45 am So, who do we think is going to win the election?
Probably LNP, but it will be close.

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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »



"That's quite a long list you've been able to pull together, but let me say this.......there's a hole in your budget, dear Labor, dear Labor. There's a hole in your budget, dear Labor, a hole."

Everyone in Australia:

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ian
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by ian »

Then fix it dear liberals, dear liberals fix it!

But how do we fix it dear labour, dear labour, but how do we fix it dear labour, but how?

With the 20 years you've been elected in the last quarter century dear liberals, dear liberals.
With the 20 years you've been elected in the last quarter century, dear libs...



When I heard that song, I seriously thought it was so stupid, but that that's just it. the liberals have it.
Using nursery rhymes as a smear campaign is absolutely genius.
It's simple and to the point, it's a reference everyone in the country over 20 will get.
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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

Labor have won. No more ScoMo as PM.

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ian
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by ian »

That is honestly a HUGE surprise.

Turns out not being Scott Morrison was all that anyone needed.

Maybe now that labour are back, we can get the NBN finished properly? Lol. PLEASE. I promise we'll all vote liberals in again AFTER ITS FUCKING FINISHED THIS TIME!

It is a shame that Morrison can now have the option to retire to a decent retirement package for how much he fucked everyone.

We should make it policy that he can be hanged to save some money.
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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

Labor winning isn't that big of a surprise. The biggest surprise is the Greens doing well, mainly in Brisbane. The teal independents also won all the seats they were after, so Josh Frydenberg is gone, which means this person will probably be opposition leader:

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Re: The Australian Politics Thread

Post by ian »

Even bigger surprise than the win was the number of people there, and I don't mean voting. There were a lot of spruikers outside my local polling place yesterday. Like, an obscene amount of people spruiking. Far more than I have ever seen at any election in my sleepy outer suburb.

A huuuge amount of people all clustered around the entrance to the school. At least 40 in 10 square metres at the gates and roughly another 25 all down the footpaths leading up to the gates... Good thing COVID doesn't exist anymore.*

*I should clarify COVID does still exist, but all the campaigners would have been arrested in a gathering this big in Victoria in 2020 or 2021. No political message there, just an observation based on fact.

My political message is this: most of the spruikers leave you the fuck alone as you walk out with your democracy sausage. After all, you are now useless to them and they no longer need you to protect their interests.
But the liberal spruikers were telling people to vote liberal and trying to force pamphlets on people walking out as well as in... That takes a special kind of stupid, and if these are kind of people they have voting for them then it actually makes me happy they lost. Despite my usual thinking of we're fucked no matter what I do, I am actually happy to see them lose.

So our international friends know what the hell is happening:

A spruiker is a fucking annoying cunt of a salesperson who loudly use harrassment to get people to buy something or use a service etc etc, often in a dishonest and/or exaggerated way.

A democracy sausage is a sausage in bread often with tomato sauce (ketchup/catsup) and often with barbecued onion that can only be purchased on days when there is voting. On any other day we may eat a sausage, and it may be identical, but it's only a democracy sausage at elections.
It's different to a Bunnings sausage which may only be consumed on any other weekend at the hardware store Bunnings warehouse.

The final note for our international friends is of Zoidbergs' technically correct spelling of 'LABOR'
I know that's how they spell it, but for the same reason I spell it colour not color, I spell it labour because Labor just looks wrong to me. And I simply can't stand to call it Labor. One year I didn't vote for them simply because they are unable to even spell their own party name correctly.

Oh.. the line for democracy sausages was almost as long as the voting one, but moved a shitload faster.
I strongly suspect that if democracy sausages were not offered, most people would stay at home and pay the $50 fine for not showing up.
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