Dirty jokes thread

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2dr
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Dirty jokes thread

Post by 2dr »

Alright one for the joke-tellers among us. I guess not exclusively for dirty jokes but let’s face it, jokes are like women: they’re better dirty.

I’ll get the ball rolling.

What do a near-sighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

2dr
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by 2dr »

Two sperm are swimming along. The first says “I’m getting rather tired. How far to the fallopian tubes?”

The other says “Long way to go yet. We only just passed the tonsils.”

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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

:olol:

2dr
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by 2dr »

How can you tell the gays from the straights in a bar fight?

The gays exchange blows while the straight men just straight up punch the shit out of each other.

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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

I slightly altered your joke, 2dr. "Gays" is a nicer term. ;)

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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by 2dr »

No problem. 😇

What’s the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn’t follow me round when I dump a load in it.

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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by 2dr »

If a dwarf tells you that your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

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ian
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by ian »

:olol:
If I should Die Hard Arcade before I Alan Wake.
PREY the Lords of Lore my Soul Calibur to Take
-Two Interactive.

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Manoel
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by Manoel »

I've been using Blueguerilla's Discord server solely to dump memes I find around the interwebs.

Btw, iirc 2dr is short for "2 dogs rotting" or something, no?

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Skynet
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by Skynet »

2 dogs rooting.

root
1. A Kiwi/Australian slang that is used in place of the more commonly used term "fuck."
1. You're rooted! (You're fucked)
2. If ya wanna root just ask! (If ya wanna fuck just ask)

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Dr. Zoidberg
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by Dr. Zoidberg »

A Native American brave was curious as to how he had received his name. So he went to speak to his father, the chieftain of the tribe.

"Father," he asked, "how is it that I acquired my name.

The noble chieftain began a long narrative for his youngest son.

"Well, my son, I named you and both of your brothers for an event which occurred on the day each of you were born. For example, the day your eldest brother was born, I saw a deer running swiftly through the forest, so I named him Deer Running Swiftly.

"Likewise, when your middle brother was born, the rain was pouring hard outside of the wigwam, so I named him Rain Pouring Hard.

"Why do you ask, Two Dogs Rooting?"

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melancholy
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by melancholy »

Skynet wrote: Sun May 22, 2022 1:59 pm 2 dogs rooting.

root
1. A Kiwi/Australian slang that is used in place of the more commonly used term "fuck."
1. You're rooted! (You're fucked)
2. If ya wanna root just ask! (If ya wanna fuck just ask)
Oh. I always thought his name meant that there were two dogs cheering for something. Ya know, ‘rooting for the home team’ or something. I should have known with him that his name would be something dirty.

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Bandit
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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by Bandit »

And you call Root Beer Fuck Beer, which is awesome.

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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by Hawq »

the less reputable of the worrld would pour regular beer down someones throat to get em to say yes to that (think my brains nearing its limit of sense for the day, hopefully the gag survived)

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Re: Dirty jokes thread

Post by 2dr »

What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?


Microwaves don’t leak when they’re fucked!

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